SHUFFLEBOARD: AN OLYMPIANS’ GUIDE

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It takes dedication to achieve glory at the greatest accumulation of sporting talent the world has ever seen. It requires hours of training, untold perseverance and a lifetime of personal sacrifice. Oh, and the ability to get a round in.

Yes, if you want to out-sprint Usain or row faster than Sir Steve, then good luck to you. If, on the other hand, your desire to get to the top of the elite level of global athletes is tempered by a love for craft beer, ribs and West Yorkshire – then we have an important message.

You can still make it.

Shuffleboard is the name of the game, and the aim is fame, under the Olympic flame. But just what the heck is Shuffleboard, and how do you play it? How can it bring you glory at Tokyo 2020? Well, strap on those headbands and gather round…

The Board

First off, we aren’t talking about that thing pensioners play on Mediterranean cruises – this is table shuffleboard, Vera. Twenty-two feet long (6.7m) and conditioned with shuffleboard cheese (look it up), the hand-made maple tables enable players to defy friction and zip their slinger with real speed, or stop it on a sixpence. And you can even spin your shots into place, with practice...

The Rules

In a two-player game, each player has four pucks (teams are also fine), and turns are taken to push them from one end of the table. The aim is to stick a puck in a scoring zone and keep it there to the end of the round, but – and here’s the science bit – to score, your puck has to be ahead of any of your opponents’. Only those pucks count towards the scoring.

All Shuffle-hounds march to a different beat – but our local scoring rules are as follows. Land a puck in marked areas to notch 1, 2, 3 or 4 points (these areas obviously decrease in size, and are further away). Leave one balanced over the edge of the board, and you’ve got a ‘hanger’ worth a cool five points. First to fifteen wins!

The Tactics

If you’ve already got those I.O.C. enrolment papers printed, and are looking for Japanese Airbnb options near the Olympic stadium, how do you make the dream come true? Well the key to getting on that plane is in the tactics. And the most important areas to focus on are the mastery of blocks, spin and the vital ‘lag’ puck.

Do you send down an early marker to pin off a part of the table, forcing your opponent to go round or waste a puck knocking yours out of the way? That’s blocking. For spin, curve your slingers into opposite corners in succeeding shots, making for two hard targets instead of a single easy one. And if you’ve got the final – or lag – puck, go for the end of the board, to make it count!

The Beer

Finally, hydration is key to any athlete’s programme; so ensure that you have a beverage on hand or close by at all times. The pantheon of shuffleboard glory – ShuffleDog Leeds – caters to this with 35 draught taps, ensuring you can keep those electrolyte levels topped up at all times. Electrolytes come from hops, right?

ShuffleDog Leeds is open now, located at Crispin Lofts, New York Road. Head on down and bag a table – the road to Olympic glory (via craft beer, hot dogs etc) starts here!

You can find out more about investing in BrewDog at www.brewdog.com/equityforpunks